Saturday, January 21, 2006

London Calling!!

I thought I would never start a 'blog', for a number of reasons. (i) The name is off-putting (blob, glob, bog, gob). (ii) It is probably an American invention. (iii) It is really a sort of electronic diary, and so belongs in the same box with holiday pictures, amateur novels, school rock bands, drunken confessions, children's poetry, buskers &c. (iv) I have no political opinions, apart from a dislike of George Bush's accent, and a suspicion of high taxes.

Where to start? The most interesting thing that happened today was a whale got beached on the river by Battersea bridge, so the whole town trooped down to have a look. But we missed even that, being forced to spend a afternoon of stultifying boredom at the bathroom shop looking at different sorts of taps. And what was wrong with the old bathroom I ask? Apart from the fact the ceiling fell in, it was fine.

Anyway, more to come. A bit of bathroom news, certainly. I hope to attract an international audience with this, many of whom will be unaware of the London plumbing crisis. You will learn many interesting things. For example, the lady having clinched the deal on the overpriced goods, we learn the assorted hardware will be arriving on the 30 March on a 'tailgate service'. For the uninitiated, this means the lorry driver dumps it all on the pavement and refuses to carry it up the steps or anywhere the place it is meant to go, i.e. the bathroom. Apparently the plumber deals with it from the doorstep onwards. But this being London, the plumber will not be there.

In parallel with this, there is the sewage crisis in our road. This is apparently unconnected with the bathroom problem, a part of the main sewer having fallen in, and so blocking the drains of all the houses from 2-10. So the stuff you send down the pipes all comes back, just like the Amityville horror. But more on that later.
Other bits and pieces to watch out for: philosophy, a dash of malt whisky and a bar or two of Louis Armstrong.

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